Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
