i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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