Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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