Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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