I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
