I want to stick my p in your. b.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
