tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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