Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So here I am, sexting at work.
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