Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
