jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
