Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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