ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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