Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
how does that bad decision feel?
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