Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.