i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
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