I could make wine with my vomit
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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