Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You smell like stripper and shame
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize