I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
