MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
