Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
