you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
