Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
