Three words: puerto rican gang bang
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
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