who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize