We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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