i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
