"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
