No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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