Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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