I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
