i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
