Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
