Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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