Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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