I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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