i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
