I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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