Sry I called you an 8
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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