never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
