oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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