He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
As shirtless as possible
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
