you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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