just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
