I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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