Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
do herpes really smell.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
