he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
