So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
