He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
