He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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