toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
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That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
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Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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