My first STD was from a foam party
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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