Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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