i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
