so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
