Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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