remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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