It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
