There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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