my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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