He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
